


There's a moment when I look at you

by chick_with_wifi



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Episode: s02e10 The Xena Scrolls, F/F, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chick_with_wifi/pseuds/chick_with_wifi
Summary: Janice watched Mel - no, not Mel. Xena - and started to remember.
Relationships: Gabrielle/Xena, Janice Covington/Melinda Pappas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	There's a moment when I look at you

"You were right," Janice admitted. It wasn't a phrase she used often, or ever if she could help it, but Melinda Pappas had more than earned this. And as she looked up into Mel's blue eyes, she felt compelled to say so.

At the sound of her voice, Mel turned her head. "I was? About what?" she asked in her southern drawl. 

Janice looked away and started walking. It was easier to have this conversation if she and Mel couldn't see each others' faces. "We were both living in our fathers' shadows."

She had spent years cursing Harry Covington with every name in the book, for caring more about the scrolls than his own daughter, for being willing to do anything for the right price, for making her surname synonymous with 'criminal'. She'd had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously and trusted. Archaeologists didn't want to work with women, especially not a woman like her who also happened to be the daughter of a graverobber. But now she had done what he'd spent his life trying to achieve, and without any underhand methods.

Mel kept pace with Janice easily. "Well, maybe it's time that we both stepped out into the world and showed them what we can do."

Her enthusiastic tone made Janice glance up at her with a small sardonic laugh. The 'we both' hadn't escaped her notice. "Together?"

Normally she prided herself on working alone, but she supposed having Mel around would be alright.

But a moment later she noticed that Mel was no longer beside her, and turned to where she was standing with her head bowed and one hand resting on the back of the truck.

"Well, not if you don't want...to," Mel said quietly.

Janice fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Come on." She tilted her head in the direction of their supplies. "You can give me a hand."

She threw her backpack onto the truck then Mel helped her lift the large satchel on. 

Part of her wondered what Mel had been about to say. Not if you don't want _me_? But since she would never know the answer, there was no point wondering.

They got into the truck, Janice driving, and left the remains of the dig site. Janice didn't want to think about all the paperwork that was waiting for her. She'd have to think up some plausible explanation that didn't involve ancient Greek gods. That one wouldn't go down well with the higher-ups.

Throughout their journey, Mel was uncharacteristically silent and kept twiddling her thumbs. Every few seconds she glanced up at Janice then quickly looked away again, like she didn't think Janice would notice this obvious behaviour less than a foot away from her.

Which of course she had, and if it went on for much longer she was going to start twitching too. 

Eventually she couldn't take it any longer and demanded, "Spit it out."

Mel blinked. "Spit what out?"

"Whatever's bothering you. You're fidgeting like a kid at church. So either give it a rest or tell me why you keep looking at me like that."

"Oh." Mel clasped her hands in her lap and stared down at them. "You just remind me of someone, that's all."

"Alright then. Stop staring."

"Okay." Mel shifted in her seat and looked out of the window instead.

Janice turned her full attention back to driving, which turned out to be perfect timing since she was promptly dazzled by oncoming headlights. It was a large lorry barrelling towards them on the wrong side of the road.

"What the - hold on," she told Mel, before slowing down and wrenching the wheel as far to the side as it would go. They crashed through the fence that separated the road from the field.

"Oh my," Mel exclaimed as she kept a tight grip on the grab handle. 

The uneven terrain jerked and threw them around until the truck came to a stop half-inside a ditch.

Janice tried the gas pedal, but the wheels spun freely for a few seconds while the engine made a grinding noise. She let out a stream of curses and slammed her fist onto the steering wheel.

Mel unclipped her seatbelt. "Stay here. I'll check how bad the damage is, see if it can be fixed. I take it you have a toolbox in the back?"

"You know how to repair a truck?"

Mel smiled. "I have many skills."

For a second, another voice echoed inside Janice's head. Saying the same phrase, but it was a deeper voice without the southern accent. Just like how Mel had sounded when Xena possessed her.

Janice bit down on the inside of her gum. She wasn't hallucinating, she was just overtired and it had been a weird day. That was all.

In the rearview mirror, she watched Mel crouch down to examine something then stand up again and walk to the other side. In the dark, she couldn't make out Mel's facial expression. But judging from her behaviour, it didn't bode well. 

But Mel kept at it for another minute until Janice rolled her eyes and climbed out of the truck. "What's taking so long?"

"I'm afraid the damage is a sight worse than we thought," Mel called back.

"Let me have a look." Janice grabbed a flashlight out of her backpack then knelt down to examine the underside of the truck. It was much worse than she'd thought. There was no way they would be going anywhere.

"Well that's just great." She threw her flashlight onto the ground. "I discover the find of the century, but it doesn't matter because I blew up my excavation site and then my truck gets totalled all in one day. I might as well hand in my resignation now. What else could go wrong?" Janice saw Mel open her mouth and held up a finger. "Don't even think about answering that."

Mel closed her mouth and lowered her eyes, falling back into the picture of demure poise. Briefly, Janice wondered if she had learned that in finishing school or wherever it was people like Mel went to be taught how to flutter their eyelashes and use the right fork.

Janice tilted her head back, keeping one hand on her hat, and looked at the sky. It might start raining soon, so she figured it was best to get their stuff inside and find a place to stay for the night.

"I saw a motel just up the road," Mel said like she had read Janice's mind. "They said they have vacancies."

Janice looked at her skeptically. "And you're willing to walk there? In the mud. Carrying all these bags."

"Well, we don't have a choice now, do we?" Mel folded her arms. "I know you don't think much of me, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could cope."

"I didn't say that," Janice said quietly as she turned to grab her backpack.

"Oh, you dropped this." As she walked past, Mel smacked the flashlight into Janice's chest and made her fumble to grab it.

Again the world flickered and Janice looked down. For a split second she was seeing a sheep carved out of wood and somehow knew it had been given to her by a woman in armor. But it was just a flashlight. She really needed to get some sleep.

She put the flashlight in her pocket and helped Mel carry their large satchel to the motel. It was slow going in the muddy field, and Mel had decided to leave her heels in the truck. Apparently being barefoot was better than sinking into the mud with every step. Janice wouldn't admit it, but she admired her dedication.

After a lot of staggering, cursing and nearly slipping, they reached the motel and made their way up the steps to the front door.

There was a small outside porch where they paused to catch their breath and readjust their grip, then they entered the motel.

At the sound of their entry, the desk clerk looked up and frowned at them over his glasses. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Janice put the dirty stachel down on the floor and ignored the clerk's wince.

"Yes," Mel said with a smile, immediately at ease. "We'd like a room please. Your sign outside says you have vacancies."

"Well." The clerk pushed his glasses up his nose. "I guess I must have forgotten to change it because we're fully booked."

"The hell you are," Janice spat. The clerk gave her a look of thinly veiled disgust. "I saw two people driving away with a car full of suitcases. Obviously just checked out. So you have at least one empty room and nobody else is around to take it at this time of night."

He spread his hands out. "I don't know what to say, other than as the owner of this motel it is at my discretion to give you a room. And I decline."

Janice's hand twitched in the direction of her gun but before she could do anything, Mel huffed and began speaking. "Now see here, I ain't sure what kind of game you're playing but we're decent people and willing to pay for a room. We have just been working at the dig site down the way, we were nearly run off the road just now and our truck got stuck in a ditch. All we're after is somewhere to spend the night. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes." He held up a notepad covered in writing. "My reservation book is full, see?"

They argued for another ten minutes, but apparently there were no circumstances under which he would give two women, one dressed like a man and the other barefoot with a torn skirt, carrying a load of archaeological equipment, a room.

Janice wasn't sure which part of that bothered him the most, but she was willing to bet she wouldn't like any answer he gave. Her frustration had been steadily mounting and she slammed her hands on the desk.

"Listen up buster. I've had a hell of a rough day and I'm not feeling too nice, so you better let us have a room before I lose my temper."

"I'm not certain that hasn't already happened," he said calmly.

"Oh, you want to see me angry? Fine."

She was about to leap over the counter and shove that stupid reservation book down his throat when she felt a hand on her shoulder, gently but firmly dragging her back. 

"Let's just go, Dr Covington, he isn't worth it," Mel said. 

Immediately, Janice was struck by the familiarity of this gesture and almost didn't notice as she was guided out onto the porch. 

As the door closed behind them, her posture loosened and in response, the hand slid across her shoulderblades before coming to rest on her opposite arm and giving her a slight reassuring squeeze. 

Somehow she felt that it was the most natural thing in the world and she turned to look up, expecting to see the woman in armor again. She could remember it so clearly, herself and…"Xena," she whispered.

Janice watched Mel - no, not Mel. Xena - and started to remember. Despite hearing it since she was a kid and meeting the woman earlier that day, the name took on a new meaning. The most important person in her life.

She looked into those same blue eyes, which were now filled with disbelieving hope. "Gabrielle?" Xena asked quietly, with no trace of southern accent. Exactly how she had sounded back in the caves.

Overwhelmed by emotion, Gabrielle nodded. Her eyes were prickling with the threat of tears and Janice's irritation was clear in the back of her mind. She never cried. But Gabrielle did and she was about to now, as she pressed a hand to her mouth and took a breath. "It's me, Xena."

She buried her face in Xena's shoulder and felt strong arms encircling her for a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," Gabrielle whispered.

"Not as much as I missed you."

Gabrielle pulled away enough to see Xena's face. "How long…?"

"Since the chakram halves joined together. Melinda started to have flashes earlier, when you first entered the caves and again when she found your scrolls, but when I took control of her body she remembered everything. I was waiting for you to remember too, but I knew I couldn't force you."

"I do remember. Greece, India, Jappa, our past lives. Everything. But it's funny. I'm here, but Janice is too."

Xena nodded. "Mel and I are the same. It was her you've been talking to, but there were a few moments when I tried to jog your memory."

"Like smacking me with the flashlight?"

Xena shrugged, jostling Gabrielle's shoulder. Then she rested her cheek against the top of Gabrielle's head as she held her closer. "You know, you're the fighter in this life too."

"Yeah." Gabrielle smiled. "Maybe our first life was just a fluke."

"Hey!"

Her eyes twinkled as she turned her head to look at Xena. "We really ought to read through my scrolls and make sure we remember everything."

Xena laughed. "Well there's no rush. We have all the time in the world."

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for this fic from the scene in The Xena Scrolls when they go down into the caves and Melinda says 'Some great battle was fought here. I don’t know why, but I get the feeling that this was the site of some titanic struggle between good and evil.' I thought that could be her having a flash of memory which made me wonder what might happen if she and Janice were Xena and Gabrielle reincarnated.
> 
> I based the remembering-past-lives process on what we saw in Deja Vu All Over Again and Soul Possession. After getting his memories and many skills back, Harry establishes familiar rapport with Ares and has no problem being addressed as Xena, plus the 'it's been too long...friend' line struck me as 100% Xena. Mattie takes a bit longer to figure out her memories but gets there eventually, and I think the 'it's been a long time' was Gabrielle speaking. From this, I gathered that it wasn't just a case of remembering they were X and G, but rather it was more like X and G were living through them. 
> 
> The next time we see them in Soul Possession, they seem to be more like the Harry and Mattie we met prior to their memories being restored. But when Ares shows up, they begin acting more like X and G and by the end of the episode, when Ares puts Xena's soul in Annie's body, their old selves are fully in control with lines like 'Xena, no matter how hard Ares has tried, he has never been able to break us up' and 'You know, I liked ya better blonde, but I can go with this.' From this I got the impression that X and G's memories and personalities are part of their current incarnation but only come to the forefront in certain situations.


End file.
